25 and Going

I turned 25... yeah it was my birthday. Got up to slight melancholy. I had to reach work in time so that I can be in time for an important life-changing appointment (if you may call it "life changing"). Luckily, I was saved from traveling in Mumbai's First Class local trains. I cabbed it... while I saw familiar buildings and streets pass by, thoughts were running through my mind... how my last year was (just happens that it was great), how life has changed drastically (what matters now is not what mattered then), how I have much less time for myself than what I used to have, how in one year I have grown to hate walking my dog, how my patience has drastically decreased (making me hyper-irritable - step on my tail and I will surely bite)?

Then I took a walk down my memory aisle - 10 years ago I was 15 and on my birthday I was getting dressed for my awaited birthday bash.. it was my last year in school. This was the first time I decided to invite some guys (colony friends). Just turned out to be the biggest disaster. The guy on whom I had a "Crush" - b.t.w. I can laugh on this today - was dancing with my then best friend. Heart broken and shattered. I still remember crying myself to bed.

Then I went further down in my memory trail - 20 years ago I was 5. I was in school.. I had very few friends, so mom called them over. She thought this would help me make friends. And I actually did get acquainted and friendly. The only problem I remember was when I had to give my newly crowned "friend" their take away thank you gifts. I held each packet so tight like it was a life and death situation. I still remember when the last guest was gone I was standing on my window and wondering what would happen to me when I finally grew up. How can someone be so innocent not to know life is not about packets colored in red, yellow, blue and green.

In the past few years I have suffered from severe "BIRTHDAY BLUES". Every year I'd make resolutions and promises to myself, some got fulfilled and some failed. But I can say this year was different. In the past I promised myself unrealistic things. I attempted the very thing I resented... I hated my birthday and still hoped I'd celebrate it somehow. So this year I thought, positive thinking! I stopped expecting unrealistic things... every single day before my birthday I told myself I have reasons to celebrate.

Every day "Someone" helped me think this way. "Someone" made me realize that wasting a day now was actually wasting a day of your life forever. "Someone" held my hand when I was weak and unwell and also held my hand when I was laughing uncontrollably (ku ku ku ku).

This is to my "Someone" thanks for helping me realize the value of time and how it will never come back. Thanks for sticking around in all my mood swings. Thanks for giving me a memory for a blog which I intend to write after 10 years - where I will surely say "10 years back I was 25 and I CELEBRATED my birthday with a very special Someone."